Yeah. I must sound like a horrible wife. We were walking back to our hotel room when a lady looked at us and said “you’re a good Dad” to my husband who was carrying our baby. That’s it. Carrying him. A happy baby, not a crying one. Most people comment on how cute our baby is if they pass us. I don’t know why she felt the need to say anything at all, let alone that. It took all my energy to not say something (like, “really, what for?” would have been a good start). Even my husband found it a bit awkward. I’m all for giving praise but shouldn’t it be for something more?
To be fair I was already rather tired, cranky and in pain. We had spent the night before in a hotel on our first trip away. I had spent the night getting up to our son every time he cried – more than usual being away and in a portacot for the first time. And it had to be me – he wanted the milk and as a breastfeeding mama it means it has to be me. As a result I ended up hurting my back lifting him in and out as the portacot was much lower to the floor than his regular bassinet. I couldn’t help think, all of the stuff that I do, mostly as I am home with him every day so I just do it even when my husband is home (like packing bags, etc) and everything that I had done on our trip because I’m a parent and THAT IS WHAT WE DO. And he is being praised for carrying him, something that WE JUST DO. But what really got me cross was that I am fairly certain that if I had been carrying him she wouldn’t have said “you’re a good Mum”.
There is still that gender line/stereotype here in 2016. I’ve seen it. I’ve heard stories from people and friends. I’d been warned. I just hadn’t personally experienced it yet. Yes, this is rather minor and I’ve probably put way more thought into it then what she meant. And yes, I was already cranky. But still. It’s there.
I’ve got so many thoughts on this whole thing. To be honest, I just don’t have the energy or time right now to write about them all. Please excuse the simplistic, general overview.
For the record, my husband is a great Dad. The lady probably would’ve given him a medal if she saw some of the other things he does. Even better, our little Cheeky Monkey loves him to bits.
Any stories you might want to share with this (possibly over-reacting) Mama? Leave them in the comments.